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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26426095">With a Little Luck</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyPond45/pseuds/AmyPond45'>AmyPond45</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bottom Jared, First Time, Grief/Mourning, Love at First Sight, M/M, POV Jensen, Porn with plot (a lot of plot), Top Jensen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:14:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,566</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26426095</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyPond45/pseuds/AmyPond45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite his best attempts to tightly control every aspect of his life, Jensen has fallen hard and fast for the boy next door. Now he has to face the consequences. He’s pretty sure he’s not very good at being a boyfriend. Not to mention, Jared happens to be the most eligible bachelor in the country. Their relationship should be temporary, a summer fling at best. But Jensen can’t deny his own hope that it’ll be something more.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>157</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>With a Little Luck</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a sequel to my fic <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23171476">Two Sizes Two Small</a>, which takes place the day before this fic. Many thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/firesign10/pseuds/firesign10">firesign10</a> for giving this story a once-over!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>//**//**//</p>
</div>The morning after Jensen fell hard for Jared, the sun rose bright and early. It streamed into the bedroom where Jensen lay in the bed he’d slept in as a teenager, waking him up.<p>For a moment, he forgets. The room looks the same as it did the day he left for college. The walls are plastered with posters of basketball stars and music groups. The cowboy music box his grandfather gave him for his fifth birthday sits on top of the dresser. It plays “Home on the Range,” although Jensen hasn’t wound it up in years.</p><p>His old beat-up guitar sits on its stand in the corner, another gift from his grandfather.</p><p>Jensen’s grandfather died when Jensen was 13, followed two years later by his mother. His teenage years were full of loss.</p><p>Jensen squeezes his eyes shut. For a brief moment, he almost believed he was fourteen again, in between those deaths, mourning his grandfather but not yet understanding how much worse things could be.</p><p>He can almost hear his mother moving around downstairs in the kitchen, getting breakfast started. Soon he’ll smell coffee and hear the sizzle of bacon in the pan.</p><p>But he knows better. He’s only here because he needs to clean out the house and sell it, now that his dad’s gone, too. There’s nothing for him here.</p><p>Nothing but Jared.</p><p>Jensen’s eyes go wide, adrenaline spiking as memories of the previous evening flood his mind.</p><p>He kissed Jared.</p><p>Then he made it weird by walking away.</p><p>Jensen’s not shy about sex. When he wants it, he knows where to go, how to ask for it so that he gets what he wants. He’s never been turned down.</p><p>But last night, as much as he wanted Jared, as much as Jared was obviously more than willing to give Jensen what he wanted, Jensen had walked away.</p><p>What was his problem?</p><p>Jensen takes a deep breath and stretches. He knows exactly what his problem is. He likes Jared. A lot. He could fall in love with the guy.</p><p>That would be a disaster.</p><p>Why exactly? What’s so dangerous about falling in love?</p><p>Jensen rolls out of bed, pads downstairs to the kitchen in his bare feet, seeking coffee. The thoughts going through his head definitely require coffee.</p><p>As he sets the pot to brew, the sound of a screen door slamming makes him look up, out the kitchen window. Jared Padalecki and his dogs are stumbling down the porch steps into the backyard of Jared’s house, and Jensen can’t help smiling. Jared’s obviously just gotten up and is barely functioning. His hair is a tangled mess, he’s rubbing his eyes, yawning and leaning on the porch rail like he’s not quite steady on his feet yet. He wears a tight grey t-shirt, blue flannel sleep pants, and flip flops.</p><p>If Jensen thinks he’s imagined how adorable Jared is, looking at him now puts that idea to shame. The man is as gorgeous sleepy and rumpled as ever, maybe more so. Something about this big guy looking all bleary-eyed and vulnerable pierces right through Jensen’s heart. He has a ridiculous desire to pull Jared into his arms and cuddle him.</p><p>“Hey,” Jensen calls out his backdoor instead.</p><p>Jared looks up, sees Jensen, and his face lights up like a roman candle.</p><p>Yup. Didn’t imagine those dimples.</p><p>Jensen raises his cup. “You look like you could use a cup of coffee.”</p><p>“Hell yeah!” Jared grins. “Good morning!”</p><p>Jensen smiles lopsidedly. “It’s definitely that,” he agrees.</p><p>Jared’s a little preoccupied with the dogs, so Jensen pours a cup of coffee for him. He slips into his own flip flops before descending the stairs into his backyard and crossing into Jared’s backyard. There used to be a fence separating the properties, but Jensen’s dad had it removed after a tree fell on it during a thunderstorm years ago. At the time, Jensen mourned the loss of privacy and stopped using the backyard altogether, but now Jensen’s grateful there’s nothing separating him from Jared.</p><p>He likes the symbolism.</p><p>“Thanks,” Jared says as he takes the cup from Jensen. His fingers brush Jensen’s, sending a thrill of lust up Jensen’s arm to the back of his neck.</p><p>“How did you sleep?” Jensen asks as he joins Jared on his porch steps. They sit side by side, not quite touching, but it’s good.</p><p>“Dreamed about you,” Jared admits. He turns toward Jensen, giving him a mischievous wink which, with his sleepy eyes and tousled hair, comes off adorable rather than sexy.</p><p>Maybe a little sexy, too.</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Jensen smirks. “Good dream, I hope.”</p><p>Jared spreads his knees and his thigh presses against Jensen’s.</p><p>“Oh yeah.” Jared grins. “Definitely.”</p><p>They watch the dogs, silently sipping their coffee, and Jensen enjoys the buzz of low-grade arousal.</p><p>“I’ve got to do some packing and boxing today,” Jensen says finally.</p><p>“Want some help?” Jared offers. “I’m pretty strong.”</p><p>“I’ll bet you are,” Jensen smirks, giving him a wink.</p><p>Jared blushes, ducks his head, and grins wide.</p><p>“We should order breakfast first,” Jared says. “I never skip breakfast.”</p><p>“Come on over and I’ll make you some eggs and bacon,” Jensen offers. “I’ve even got orange juice.”</p><p>“Seriously? That sounds awesome!” Jared finishes his cup of coffee and Jensen takes it from him, fingers brushing with that little electric shock of arousal again.</p><p>Jared takes care of his dogs while Jensen goes back to his kitchen to start the food. He’s already finished the bacon and started on the eggs by the time Jared climbs the back porch steps and taps on his screen door.</p><p>“Come in!” Jensen calls.</p><p>Jared’s shaved, brushed his hair and probably his teeth, which look blindingly white in his tan face. He’s wearing board shorts and a different grey t-shirt. The flip flops are still on his huge feet, which have the longest toes Jensen’s ever seen, and Jensen faces the fact that he might have a thing for Jared’s feet. They’re kind of amazing.</p><p>“Sit down!” Jensen orders. He tries not to watch too closely as Jared folds his gigantic body into one of the chairs at the little kitchen table. He’s so big he has to scoot back from the table just to bend low enough to eat.</p><p>Jensen tries not to shiver with pleasure as he places the plate of food down in front of Jared and reaches for the coffee pot.</p><p>“Wow, this is really good,” Jared notes as he wolfs down his food. “Did you put cheese in these eggs?”</p><p>“I did,” Jensen nods. “Also onions and peppers. I would have added chopped tomatoes and avocados, but I’m all out. I’m trying to keep just the basics on hand while I clean out the house. No need to waste vegetables that’ll just go bad.”</p><p>Jared nods. “Very practical,” he notes. “So what else can you do? Besides being a great cook and coffee-maker, I mean.”</p><p>Jensen slides into the chair opposite Jared with his own plate of food and shrugs. “I work,” he admits.</p><p>“Three jobs, yeah, I know,” Jared nods. “But what do you do for fun?”</p><p>“Work out,” Jensen says. “Go out to eat once in a while. The usual.”</p><p>“You’re not a big sports fan,” Jared notes. “At least, I think you’re not, based on your lack of interest in the game last night.”</p><p>“I used to follow the Astros and the Cowboys,” Jensen says. “And the Spurs for basketball.”</p><p>“My hometown,” Jared notes, nodding his approval with a grin. “But you don’t follow any teams now?”</p><p>“I used to play a little pick-up basketball,” Jensen says. “Years ago, when I was still in medical school.”</p><p>“We should grab a ball, do some one-on-one.”</p><p>“Man, I’m not playing basketball with you,” Jensen scoffs. “You’re like six-ten.”</p><p>Jared grins. “Six-four, actually.”</p><p>“Whatever. I’d be a fool to try to play b-ball with you, that’s all I’m saying,” Jensen says, shaking his head.</p><p>“Might be fun,” Jared says with a shrug. The look he gives Jensen gives Jensen a good idea of just how fun it could be to get physical with Jared, and he smiles so wide it hurts.</p><p>“Yeah, we’ll see,” Jensen murmurs, flushing to the tips of his ears.</p><p>Jared helps Jensen with the dishes, then Jensen finds out how much easier cleaning the house can be when he’s got a helper. He lets Jared work on the basement, filled with items that had been left in storage since before Jensen’s mother died.</p><p>“Just throw it all out,” he instructs, and Jared nods, taking in the room filled with Jensen’s old toys, his tricycle and first bicycle, old exercise machines that stopped working long ago.</p><p>Jensen retreats to his father’s bedroom to pack clothing and trinkets while Jared makes trip after trip from the basement to the dumpster. With Jensen’s permission, he calls a buddy who sells old junk and gets the man to come over for the items that are still working or fixable.</p><p>After a few hours, Jensen’s stomach tells him it’s time for lunch. He’s managed to pack away most of his father’s clothes, gone through the closet full of photo albums and boxed those up without collapsing in tears on the bed, so he figures that’s a win.</p><p>“Do you want to go out for lunch?”</p><p>Jared’s a sweaty mess in the doorway of the bedroom, and Jensen blushes because they’re in his parents bedroom. It was a huge stupid fantasy of his when he was a kid (before his mom died) to have sex right here on the bed where he was conceived. It seemed like a dirty idea that had nothing to do with his parents (ew!) and everything to do with doing something naughty and taboo.</p><p>He knows that’s weird, but it’s the way he was made.</p><p>“Yeah, absolutely,” Jensen says, nodding like a bobbing dashboard puppy. “Just let me get cleaned up.”</p><p>“I gotta take the dogs out,” Jared says. “I’ll meet you out front at 1:00?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Jensen agrees. “Sounds great.”</p><p>He doesn’t think about how hot Jared looks, sweaty and muscled,  hardened tits poking through his thin grey t-shirt. Really, he doesn’t.</p><p>He’s so fucked.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>//**//**//</p>
</div>Fortunately, Jared’s idea of lunch out means hot dogs from the vendor at the park. He brings the dogs — on a leash, of course — and Jensen gets plenty of opportunities to watch Jared manhandling his beasts like a pro. Jared’s muscles flex, his thighs tighten enticingly, and Jensen wonders what the hell he thinks he’s doing, for the five-thousandth time.<p>He could fuck Jared and leave it at that, but he knows he can’t. He already knows he’s falling for the guy. So maybe the best thing is to NOT fuck him. Try to keep this whole crazy thing under control. After all, Jensen’s still grieving. He’s not in his right mind. It wouldn’t be fair to Jared to do something he’d later regret.</p><p>How could he ever regret fucking Jared? How wouldn’t that be the best thing that ever happened to him?</p><p>He’s still working that out.</p><p>As he watches Jared juggle his hotdog and his hyper dogs, it occurs to Jensen that falling in love with this guy might not be the most ridiculous thing ever. Might not even be the disaster his control-freak brain tells him it is.</p><p>It might be time to switch off his brain for a while and go with his heart.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>//**//**//</p>
</div>“So what do you say we take a break and head out to the lake?”<p>It’s almost four-thirty, Jensen’s exhausted, Jared needs to walk the dogs again, and Jensen’s kind of in love while also feeling overwhelmed by all the emotional baggage of being in his childhood home when there’s nobody there who loves him because they all died.</p><p>It’s a perfect storm of emotional overload.</p><p>“Yeah. Absolutely.”</p><p>When they’re both nearly naked, stripped down to boxers (Jensen) and incredibly stylish swim trunks (Jared) it’s a toss-up who’s gonna make the first move. They’re so obviously hot for each other it’s ridiculous, and Jensen’s never been this turned on by a guy this rich, which is messing with his brain.</p><p>“I think we need to talk,” Jensen says.</p><p>They’re floating in the lake in front of Jared’s incredibly expensive private lake house, and Jared’s been staring in that obviously overly infatuated way at Jensen for at least twenty minutes.</p><p>“Yeah, okay.”</p><p>They pull themselves out of the water, sit side by side on a towel on the dock, watching the breeze move the trees across the lake. It’s getting late, shadows lengthening, sun sinking below the tree line.</p><p>“We can stay here tonight, if you want,” Jared says. “The house has three bedrooms. Plenty of beds.”</p><p>Jensen stomach growls. “We should probably get something to eat.”</p><p>“I’ve got steaks and fresh veggies in the fridge,” Jared says. “We could grill outside, eat on the deck.”</p><p>Jensen gives him a look. “When did you have time to stock up?”</p><p>Jared blushes. His dimpled grin appears. “I made a call. I’ve got a guy who shops and stocks up for me here, whenever I’m coming out to use it.”</p><p>“Of course you do.” Jensen shakes his head. “That’s part of what we need to talk about.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Jensen takes a deep breath, steadies himself by squinting at the view for a moment.</p><p>“I like you,” he says finally. “A lot. But I don’t <i>do</i> relationships.” He clears his throat.</p><p>“Okay.” Jared nods. “We can do whatever you want. I’ll be happy with whatever you can give me.”</p><p>Jensen huffs out a laugh. “What I <i>want</i> is to fuck you through the mattress.”</p><p>Jared blushes and grins adorably again. “Okay.”</p><p>“But I like you too much,” Jensen goes on. “You deserve better than that.”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Jared teases. “Sounds like a good time to me.”</p><p>“I feel like I should get to know you better first,” Jensen says. “Which is not something I do. Ever.”</p><p>“Understood.” Jared nods like he understands, which he can’t possibly, but Jensen likes him for it anyway.</p><p>“I’m kind of an emotional mess, Jared,” Jensen says. “Not somebody you want to get involved with.”</p><p>“I think I can be the judge of that,” Jared answers. “So far, nothing you’ve said or done makes me like you less.”</p><p>He puts up his hand, ticks off a list on his long fingers, one by one, and Jensen can’t help staring.</p><p>“You’re kind to my dogs, you’re kind to me even though you’re obviously grieving, you tolerate my goofy side, we’ve been hanging out together all day and you’re still here, and you’re a great cook. I might not know you <i>well</i> yet, but I feel like I’m getting a sense for the kind of person you are.”</p><p>Jensen shakes his head. “I’m a workaholic,” he says. “I don’t return phone calls and I hate email. I’m terrible at remembering birthdays and anniversaries. I’ll never give you flowers.”</p><p>“I hate flowers,” Jared says. “Allergies. And I’ll do all the remembering for both of us. I love parties. Any chance to celebrate anything.”</p><p>“I hate crowds,” Jensen says.</p><p>“It can just be the two of us, then,” Jared promises. “Or you and Danneel can sit together in a corner while I do the crowd thing. She’s really good for that.”</p><p>“She is,” Jensen agrees with a smile. He liked Danneel. Enjoyed hanging out with her the night before. He could definitely see more of her. “I’m really grumpy in the mornings, before coffee.”</p><p>“You <i>saw</i> me this morning before I had coffee,” Jared counters. “I’m a wreck. <i>You,</i> on the other hand, looked like you’d just stepped out of the pages of GQ.”</p><p>“You were adorable,” Jensen says before he can stop himself. </p><p>It’s true, though. He imagines morning after morning of Jared like that, and it doesn’t seem too bad. Seems kind of wonderful, in fact.</p><p>“I don’t do romance.”</p><p>“So we just hang out,” Jared says. “Like we did today. Or we go to work, then hang out. I’m easy. Super low-maintenance. Honest.”</p><p>“Jared, after the house is sold, I’m going back to Houston. That’s where I live.”</p><p>“I have a house in Houston,” Jared says. “We can still see each other.”</p><p>“Yeah, about that.” Jensen’s jaw tightens. “You’re phenomenally wealthy. I’m not sure I can handle that.”</p><p>Jared takes a deep breath, lets it out slow. He nods.</p><p>“We can keep our relationship private,” he says. “You don’t have to go with me to work-related events unless you want to. Same with my charity work. I can totally appreciate you wanting to stay out of the public eye, and I promise we can make that happen.”</p><p>Jensen shakes his head. “I’ve always worked hard,” he says. “Nothing ever came easy. I just can’t imagine having the kind of life you must lead. I’m not sure I would feel comfortable being your kept man.”</p><p>Jared huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. “Your life is your own, man. I’m not asking you to leave it, or even to change it much. I’m just asking you to let me be a part of it.”</p><p>“But you must have private jets and mansions all over the world...”</p><p>Jared scoffs. “I don’t live like that unless I have to,” he says. “I like small houses, cheap cars. I like to drive everywhere when I can. I only take a plane when I have to for work.”</p><p>“Do you even have a job?” Jensen shakes his head. “Do you need to work?”</p><p>“For my sanity, yeah,” Jared says with a nod. “I run a small start-up in Austin that’s all my own, and I’m on the board of my dad’s company, which meets twice a year. I spend most of my days in the office in Austin.”</p><p>“Which is a three-and-a-half-hour drive from Houston,” Jensen notes.</p><p>Jared shrugs. “So I’ll work remotely from Houston,” he says. “Fly over if I’m needed. Although, you should really look into moving to Austin. It’s gorgeous there and the culture is much cooler than Houston.”</p><p>Jensen shakes his head. “You’d just rearrange your entire life because of me,” he says, disbelieving.</p><p>“Of course!”</p><p>“Why? How can you know I’m worth it?” Jensen frowns, genuinely curious. He can’t imagine being so spontaneous, let alone turning his life inside out for somebody he’s just met. “You barely know me.”</p><p>“And I’d like to get to know you better,” Jared agrees. “I’m just betting on this thing working out between us.”</p><p>“But how do you <i>know?</i>” Jensen insists. “How can you be so sure?”</p><p>Jared takes a deep breath. “Call it a hunch,” he says. “I have really good instincts about people, and my instinct about you is that we’ve got a good chance of making it together. I think we’ll be good together.”</p><p>“That’s just crazy,” Jensen says. “You can’t possibly know that.”</p><p>Jared slides his hand over Jensen’s. A wave of lust shoots through Jensen, making him gasp.</p><p>“I’m willing to take a chance,” Jared says softly.</p><p>Jensen turns his hand over so he can slide their fingers together.</p><p>“This is just chemicals,” he says. “Pheromones. Physical attraction.”</p><p>“Never had it like this before,” Jared says. “Have you?”</p><p>Jared’s got a point. Jensen has to admit he’s never had it like this. He’s never seen a guy and started thinking about living with him before the day’s out. It’s just never occurred to him before.</p><p>“So you think this is — what? Love at first sight?”</p><p>Jared shrugs. “Like I said, I’m willing to take that chance. It’s too good to pass up.” Jared’s gaze turns serious, hazel eyes locked to Jensen’s. “<i>You’re</i> too good to pass up.”</p><p>Jensen thinks he’s about to be kissed; he lowers his eyes to Jared’s mouth, licks his own lips in anticipation. Jared’s confidence and enthusiasm are contagious. Jensen’s already imagining their life together and they’ve barely kissed.</p><p>As Jared leans in, Jensen’s lips part and his eyes slide closed. Jared’s lips are as soft as he remembers, his cheek scratchy with a five-o’clock shadow. The side-by-side angle is a little awkward, and as Jared deepens the kiss, Jensen’s stomach growls again and he pulls back, chuckling.</p><p>“Maybe we should eat first,” Jared suggests.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>//**//**//</p>
</div>The sun sinks lower as they prepare the food, and by the time they sit down to eat, it’s setting in a blaze of shifting colors.<p>“Wow,” Jensen breathes as he watches the sky change color. “What a beautiful view.”</p><p>“Yeah, it is,” Jared agrees, and when Jensen glances at him he realizes Jared’s been staring at Jensen the whole time.</p><p>Jensen ducks his head, blushing. He hopes the fading light will hide his embarrassment. He’s feeling awkward about the evening again. On the one hand, he thinks it’s a good thing to get the sex out of the way. On the other hand, he doesn’t want sex to destroy this new relationship. He really, really likes Jared, but he barely knows him. He’s nervous about their future. They come from very different worlds. Trying to find a way to merge their homes and lives feels very daunting.</p><p>After dinner, he helps Jared clean up and take care of the dogs.   Then they take their after-dinner whiskies out to the deck to watch the stars. They both showered and changed before dinner, and Jensen was surprised to find clean jeans and t-shirts in the drawers in one of the bedrooms. They fit him perfectly, and Jensen wonders again about all the people who must work for Jared to make his life appear to run so easily and magically. He never even sees Jared texting anyone, although he must’ve done that at some point.</p><p>It occurs to Jensen that they’re out here alone together in a place far from the nearest neighbor. If Jared had planned to kill him and dispose of his body, nobody would even hear Jensen scream.</p><p>“What are you thinking?” Jared asks innocently, and Jensen jumps.</p><p>“Not much,” he lies. “Just thinking about how isolated this place is.”</p><p>“Sometimes I bring Danneel and the guys here for sports and pizza,” Jared says. “You want me to call them?”</p><p>“No!” Jensen gives him a horrified look. “Hell, no. I mean, I like it. It’s just a little terrifying.”</p><p>Jared takes a sip of his whisky and Jensen watches him out of the corner of his eyes.</p><p>“You know we don’t have to do anything tonight,” Jared says finally. “If you just want to hang out and talk, I’m fine with that.”</p><p>Jensen shakes his head. “This is just — All of this is —“ He takes a breath, lets the next words out in a rush. “I’ve never been as scared of anything as I am of falling for you. There. I said it.”</p><p>“Am I really so scary?” Jared half-smiles, giving Jensen a look that he’s already labeled “puppy-ish.”</p><p>“Oh, absolutely,” Jensen says. “Terrifying. Like I said.”</p><p>“You know I’d never hurt you,” Jared says. “Or let you get hurt. I’d rather give you up than let that happen.”</p><p>Jensen doesn’t know why he suddenly feels so vulnerable. It must be all the grief. His dad’s death brought back all the helplessness he felt when his mom died, and now he feels raw, like a jagged wound has been opened right down the middle of his chest.</p><p>He sips his whiskey, takes a deep breath, and tries to steady his jangling nerves.</p><p>“Maybe we could just cuddle,” he hears himself saying. “Does that sound stupid?”</p><p>Jared’s eyes go wide, then soften with sympathy. “Of course not. That’d be perfectly okay.”</p><p>Jensen nods, knocks back the rest of his whiskey, and nods again.</p><p>“Okay. Okay, then.”</p><p>They sit quietly for a few more minutes, gazing out at the stars. A couple of shooting stars and an airplane are all that moves across the sky. Crickets and an occasional frog are the only sounds. The dogs are already sleeping, curled up together on a rug in the living room. It’s peaceful. Jensen wills his racing heart to slow the hell down.</p><p>Finally, when he thinks he’s got himself as much under control as he’ll ever be, he clears his throat.</p><p>“So what do you say we call it a night?”</p><p>“Okay,” Jared says softly. He’s obviously making an effort to make Jensen feel comfortable, not assuming anything, not pushing.</p><p>Maybe Jensen’s being a dick. Maybe he’s being a little too precious and he should just give Jared what he wants — hell, what they <i>both</i> want — without so much drama.</p><p>He’s so messed up he can’t believe Jared even wants him at all.</p><p>He heads back to the bedroom where he changed earlier and gets ready for bed while Jared moves around the house, shutting off lights, locking doors and closing windows. He’s already lying in bed with only the light from the bathroom on by the time Jared enters. He watches Jared hesitate at the door, eyes adjusting to the gloom.</p><p>“Hey.” Jensen greets him, encouraging. His teeth taste like peppermint from the weird organic toothpaste in the bathroom.</p><p>“Hey.” Jared’s dressed just like he was this morning, in a t-shirt and sleep pants. Jensen feels slightly more naked in his own t-shirt and boxers, but it’s how he sleeps. It’s how he’s always slept.</p><p>Jared sleeps naked, his brain provides helpfully, although he doesn’t know how he knows that. Jared’s wearing clothes to bed for Jensen’s sake.</p><p>“This okay?” Jared murmurs as he slips into the bed next to Jensen and reaches for him.</p><p>“Yeah,” Jensen sighs as he turns toward Jared, lets the big man pull him into his arms. “It’s good.”</p><p>And it is. He feels immediately safe in Jared’s arms. He feels loved. It shouldn’t be possible, after only a day, but he already feels like he’s where he belongs.</p><p>So when he starts to shiver, it makes no sense to him.</p><p>“Hey, hey.” Jared murmurs, pressing him closer, rubbing his back and arms. “You cold? Need more blankets? Come here. Your teeth are chattering. Should I turn off the a/c?”</p><p>Jared pulls the blankets up around them, sealing them into a cozy cocoon. His big hands rub Jensen’s back as Jensen buries his face in the hollow of Jared’s throat, willing himself to calm down. He’s not really cold; it’s more like shock, a response to his earlier panic attack. He’s terrified, afraid of something he can’t quite name.</p><p>When he finally settles into Jared’s arms again, Jensen takes a deep breath.</p><p>“I think I’m afraid of losing you,” he admits quietly.</p><p>Jared stirs. The hand that isn’t attached to the arm that’s holding Jensen close slides up Jensen’s back to cup the back of his head. He draws back just enough to tip Jensen’s face up and looks down at him. In the near-darkness, Jared’s features are all dark shadow and sharp cheekbone. His eyes glisten for a moment as they catch the light.</p><p>“My friends tell me I’m loyal to a fault,” he says. “You don’t have to worry about losing me.”</p><p>Jensen nods. “Okay.”</p><p>Jared gazes at him for another moment, then asks, “Can I kiss you?”</p><p>Jensen nods, closes his eyes as Jared leans in. The kiss is careful, gentle, like Jared’s afraid Jensen might bolt. Jensen doesn’t. He’s not even a little bit tense anymore. Lying in Jared’s strong arms, pressed against his warm, hard body, Jensen relaxes more than he has in weeks. Months. Maybe even years.</p><p>For several moments they exchange soft kisses, smiling at each other in between. Then the kisses get deeper, more heated. Jensen slides his hand into Jared’s hair and shifts a little so he can rub against Jared’s thigh, and Jared moans.</p><p>Jensen likes that sound, so he rubs against Jared’s thigh again.</p><p>Jared breaks the kiss, gasping.</p><p>“If you keep doing that, I can’t promise I’ll be able to keep cuddling,” he breathes.</p><p>“I think we should take our clothes off,” Jensen answers, tugging on Jared’s t-shirt.</p><p>“I usually sleep naked,” Jared says, and Jensen doesn’t say, “I know.”</p><p>He helps Jared take his shirt off and wiggle out of his sleep pants, then sits up to do the same, dropping his clothes on the floor next to the bed. He turns back to Jared, who watches him as he takes in Jared’s long, lean body, his proportional erection.</p><p>“You,” Jensen whispers, running just the tips of his fingers down Jared’s chest to his belly.</p><p>Jared’s breath hitches and his eyes slide closed. He arches up a little under Jensen’s touch, flexing his left pec and stomach muscles. The man has a serious six-pack. Jensen won the lottery.</p><p>Jensen runs the tips of his fingers over Jared’s firm thigh, nudging his thighs apart so he can crawl in between them. When he takes Jared’s cock in hand and bends down to lick the tip, Jared gasps and fucks up a little.</p><p>“I’m gonna make this good for you,” Jensen promises, licking under the head. “Then I’m gonna fill you up.”</p><p>“Okay,” Jared gasps. He keens as Jensen closes his mouth over the head, sucks as he works the base with his hand. When he looks up, Jared’s looking down at him, flushed and slack-jawed, lips shiny and soft. When his eyes meet Jensen’s, Jared throws his head back and bites back a moan. His cock jumps and twitches in Jensen’s mouth, and he tastes a little salty precome.</p><p>“Oh god,” Jared grits out between clenched teeth. “I can’t...Jensen, I can’t...”</p><p>“Come on, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs. “Give it to me. Don’t hold back, now.”</p><p>Jensen swallows down as much of Jared’s cock as he can, pumping the base for all he’s worth, and Jared explodes down his throat with a broken cry. He thrusts up blindly as he comes, nearly choking Jensen, but Jensen holds on, takes it all and swallows every drop, milking Jared’s cock through the aftershocks as he starts to come down.</p><p>Licking his lips, Jensen crawls up the bed and stretches out next to Jared. He leans in to kiss him dirty, snaking his tongue deep into Jared’s warm, wet mouth, letting him taste himself before pulling back. He props himself up and gazes down into Jared’s face as Jared blinks up at him, blissed out and sleepy.</p><p>“Wow,” Jared says. “That was...Wow.”</p><p>Jensen smirks. He knows he’s good. Nobody ever complained about his cock-sucking abilities.</p><p>“Now I’m gonna fuck you,” he announces. “Condom? Lube?”</p><p>“In the bedside table,” Jared flops one long arm toward the table, too relaxed to move.</p><p>He takes his time opening Jared up, enjoying the view of Jared’s long body writhing on his fingers, leaning down to lay kisses along his chest and belly. When he starts to turn Jared over, Jared resists.</p><p>“Like this,” Jared insists. “Wanna see you when you come.”</p><p>“Bossy,” Jensen mutters with a smile as he rolls the condom on and slicks himself up.</p><p>“Speak for yourself,” Jared grins, pulling his knees back to give Jensen more room.</p><p>Jensen takes his time fucking into Jared, filling him up nice and easy before he starts thrusting. He finds Jared’s prostate and thrusts shallowly against it, watching Jared gasp and squirm as his dick hardens again.</p><p>“Look at you,” Jensen mutters, pleased by how responsive Jared is, how good he feels, not to mention how beautiful he looks, falling apart on Jensen’s dick. Jensen’s pretty sure he could get addicted to this.</p><p>“Shut up and fuck me!” Jared gasps.</p><p>“My pleasure,” Jensen answers and does as he’s told. He pounds into Jared, chasing his orgasm, squeezes his eyes shut and goes ramrod still as he comes. As he starts to come down he can feel Jared watching him, feels Jared’s body clench around his dick. Jared’s big hands rub soothing circles in his skin. Jensen’s arms tremble from holding himself up and when his eyes open he can feel tears on his lashes.</p><p>“Hey,” Jared smiles up at him.</p><p>Jensen groans as he rolls to the side. He hisses as his dick slips free from Jared’s warmth into the cool air of the room. He  tucks an arm behind his head and blinks the tears away, but Jared’s seen them. Jared reaches over and swipes his thumb along Jensen’s cheek, pulls his thumb back and puts it in his mouth, keeping his eyes locked to Jensen’s as he does it.</p><p>Jensen blushes and pulls the pillow closer, nuzzling into it to wipe his face. He won’t cry. If he got a little emotional during sex, it doesn’t mean he’s a sentimental fool. It’s just an autonomic response, for gods sake.</p><p>Jared cups his cheek, leans in to kiss him, and Jensen can taste the salt on his tongue.</p><p>“You,” Jared breathes against his lips, reverent.</p><p>Jensen shakes his head, scoffs softly, and Jared grins.</p><p>“I gotta clean up,” he says, rolling away from Jensen. Jensen watches admiringly as Jared walks into the bathroom to wash off. He’s drifting off to sleep when Jared comes back, slides in next to him, and pulls up the blankets over them both.</p><p>“Definitely a keeper,” Jensen mutters, almost unaware he’s saying it.</p><p>But it’s true. Jared’s someone he wants in his life from now on. Whatever life brings him, he wants Jared to be there.</p><p>“Definitely.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>fin</i>
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